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Saturday, February 7, 2009

Avocados = Repulsive

I am an avocado hater.

I hate their squishy, slimy texture.

I hate their toxic green color.

I hate the sound of a knife scraping against the inside of the peel, like when you cut an avocado in half and then cut it into cubes while it's still inside its rind.

I hate their fatty, creamy, nutty taste.

Guacamole makes me shiver with disgust.

I can't stand avocado in my sushi. People will roll their eyes and tell me to poke it out with a chopstick, but they don't understand that the sushi is permanently tainted.

I read that in Java, avocado flesh is mixed with black coffee, sweetened, and eaten as a dessert. After reading that, I don't think I will ever be travelling to Java.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

I Don't Watch The Superbowl

I can hear my neighbors screaming their heads off, and I am 99.99% positive that they are having a Superbowl party. It's really obnoxious. Every few minutes, the whole block can hear them going "Hoooooo hooooooo" and "waaaaaaaahhhhhhooooww" and "yeahyeahyeah-ohhhhhh..." It's driving me nuts.

I've never actually watched the Superbowl before. I don't even know how to play football, except that it involves an awkwardly-shaped ball, violent tackles, and shoulder pads.