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Friday, December 19, 2008

"Old age is a shipwreck" - Charles de Gaulle

I am currently sixteen years old, a teenager in full bloom, at the height of my youth. I am both wise and invincible, at least in my mind. My mind and body are strong. My face is unwrinkled, my wit is sharp, and my joints don't hurt. Death, though imminent, seems a long way off.

By the way, that's not me. That model is waaaaaaaaaay prettier than me. The picture just demonstrates my vision of rebellious, young, fresh, and immortal.

But old age, quite possibly one of my greatest fears in life, is lying in wait. The idea of being bedridden, in pain, senile, and alone absolutely terrifies me. The knowledge that someday, my body will fail and frustrate me makes me pretty depressed. I don't want to go senile, but to be aware of my crumbling body seems even worse. Imagine the anger and frustration at one's body for not allowing one to walk, talk, and function. Think of the weariness, the monotony, the chore of staying alive.

I know I have a long way to go until I am elderly, but I fear it nonetheless. I want to remain youthful and invincible. To quote The Who (in the song My Generation), "I hope I die before I get old."


Michael said...

I've thought about death too, even though I am just about your age. With all the time we have left, we will learn to find people that can accompany us until we are old and we will learn to make peace with death.

I, too, dread the aching joints and the loss of my senses. I fear the tiredness, the most. I fear I will be tired of living.

I, too, hope I die before I get old.


thumbsUpsmile said...

I volunteer in a nursing home once or twice a week. It's really rewarding to help out with some of the elderly because I know that they're really grateful.

However, after a week, I told my mom that I never want to have to stay in a nursing home.

It's not that it's a bad place to live, but to be surrounded by so many people on the brink of death would be too depressing. And I can't even imagine playing Uno and forgetting the rules in the middle of it, or being overjoyed at getting a little snack sized candy bar because I won at Blackjack 21.

I agree with you and Michael.

Michael said...

Mmm. thumbsUpsmile, living with my two maternal grandparents is a challenge on its own. I understand your perspective.