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Sunday, August 3, 2008

The Future Is Unwritten

For part of my high school graduation requirements, I had to take a College and Career class. Seriously, what a waste of my time. I am sixteen years old, and I have NO IDEA what I want to do with my life, if anything. It's preposterous to expect a teenager to have any concrete thoughts of the future. I live in the now. Tomorrow hardly exists to me, its presence just hangs foggily. When I really think about myself ten, twenty, even thirty years from now, I can't picture that stranger. What will my life be like? I can think of several possibilities.

Happily married with children.
Well la-dee-da. I Sincerely hope this is how it will end up, because life seems awfully lonely without someone to be there for you. My husband will be wonderful and extremely handsome. We will have sex on a regular basis, which is probably the cause of our long-standing marriage. The kids will be my pride and joy. Every time I go to a parent-teacher conference, I will hear about how delightful and intelligent my children are. We will raise them well and when we are old and wrinkled, they will take diligent care of us.
Psshhhh. In my dreams.
Happily divorced with children.
If I married some inconsiderate fuck-face because I think I love him, then find out years later (after we've had kids) that he is a lying, cheating bastard, I would kick him out of the house and live my life happily ever after without him. I get to live the single life. I get to see my kids, but I only have to take care of them half the time! Sounds acceptable...
Single mom.
I totally hope this isn't me. Single moms have it tough. It would be even tougher if i was a single teenage mom. A drunken night of partying, and BAM, I'm going to school in maternity clothes. That would suck so much.
Single and free.
Seriously contemplating this. No worries, and no commitment. I like it.

Possible careers?
Housewife
I highly doubt this is a smart choice, seeing as I am inept at cooking, cleaning, and general housewifery.
Writer
I'm leaning towards novels, as opposed to newspaper reporting, because I prefer to make things up. For that very reason, I don't think I would last long at my reporting job. When the article about killer saucepans gets printed on the front page, I'll be fired before you can say... well, before you can say anything.
Architect
Oh god. I would not set foot in any building designed by me. That's a disaster waiting to happen.
Carpenter
[See Architect, Above]
Actress
This sounds like my ideal lifestyle. You get paid to pretend. Although I would rather act for film, theater is quite respectable, too. I think this is one of the only careers I have honestly considered. Unfortunately, the mathematical probability of my success in this industry are microscopically low.
Doctor
Such a high paying job! Why does it have to be one that I have no interest in, why?!
FBI Agent
I don't actually want to do this, because I lack the dedication and physical strength required. What I would really like to be able to do is kick in doors with my steel-toed boots, run into the room with my gun pointed, then either yell, "Clear!" if it's empty or arrest the son of a bitch, like they do on TV.

Fuck it. I think I'll just aspire to be a bartender. Or a stripper. Or both.


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